DEAR BONNIE: My world seems like it’s falling apart one scenario after another. I am baffled and confused and really just trying to hang in there. Can you tell me what’s going on? Thanks, Mark

DEAR MARK: I think I might know. Have you ever felt as though the rug was completely pulled out from under your life? As if the beliefs, goals and identity you spent years building suddenly lost all meaning leaving you standing in a quiet unsettling void? If so, you may have experienced what spiritual traditions call the “Dark Night of the Soul.”

The term originates from a 16th-century poem by the Spanish mystic and poet St. John of the Cross. While it sounds ominous it doesn’t describe a physical tragedy or clinical depression — though it can certainly feel heavy and confusing. Instead a dark night of the soul is a deep transformative shift in consciousness. It is a period where your ego — the mental blueprint of who you think you are — begins to crumble forcing you to look beneath the surface of your life.

During this phase the things that used to give you purpose or comfort might suddenly feel hollow. You might experience:

• A Sense of Disconnection: Feeling detached from old routines, social circles or long-held goals.

• Ego Collapse: Realizing that titles material success or the approval of others no longer fulfill you.

• Existential Questioning: Asking deeply personal questions like “Who am I really?” or “What is my true purpose here?”

• Emotional Emptiness: A temporary feeling of loss as if you are grieving an old version of yourself that no longer fits.

It is easy to mistake this process for a breakdown. In reality, it is a breakthrough.

Think of a caterpillar entering its cocoon. To become a butterfly the caterpillar must completely dissolve its old structure. It isn’t a comfortable process but it is necessary for transformation.

The dark night functions the same way. It strips away illusions, outdated beliefs and superficial attachments so that your true authentic self can emerge. It forces you to stop living on autopilot and invites you to heal deeply rooted emotional patterns, cultivate self-compassion and reconnect with your inner wisdom.

If you find yourself in the middle of this spiritual winter the most important thing to remember is surrender. Resisting the feeling or trying to force yourself back into your old life usually prolongs the struggle. Here are some tips on navigating the “shadow:”

• Practice Deep Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with gentle kindness. Allow yourself to rest sit in quiet reflection and feel whatever emotions arise without judgment.

• Trust the Process: Recognize that the feeling of emptiness isn’t a permanent state; it is space being made for something new, real and aligned to grow.

• Seek Grounding: Grounding practices — spending time in nature engaging in gentle movement or practicing silent meditation — can help anchor you while your internal world rearranges itself.

The Dark Night of the Soul is not a punishment nor is it a sign that you have lost your way. It is a sacred invitation to shed who you thought you had to be so you can step fully into who you truly are. Light always returns and when it does you will see your life with entirely new eyes.

It might not be so fun to go through, Mark, but it sure seems worth it in the end.

Bonnie Page is an intuitive medium, spiritual teacher and Reiki Master. If you would like to send her a question for her column please send it to bonnie@bonniepagemedium.com If you would like to find out more about Bonnie visit her website http://www.bonniepagemedium.com