Interesting opening, doing a rhythmic change and adding a lot more notes and movement to the source. Whoa, at :38, everything new brought in is super-piercing. Piercing volume was already a problem around :20 as the track faded up. Dude... are you not listening to this on any headphones; how are you able to handle this??? :-D proph pointed out the buildup being too long, but it's fine to me; that critique might be more in the context of this being too LOWD than anything else.

More involved elements come in at :58, then a dropoff from the maxed out textures at 1:17 but now with beats helping drive it forward. The beats are awfully plain and very tamely involved in there, but the beats are thickened some at 1:56. Very underwhelming beats; they need a denser and more spacious sound, though they also should be quieter than your lead elements or at least not overlapping in frequencies. Boy, I would really love @Chimpazilla or anyone who can speak to producing really hone in on how to get a stronger sound here.

2:35 adds in some comping-like organ stuff, and from a writing perspective, I continue to like where this has been going. 3:13 has another dropoff where the bassline and organ double up the source melody; I like the bassline, though it was mixed very quietly until around 3:23, but it's fine as a point of contrast since it gradually gets louder.

Man, the beat-writing is so underwhelming; it's not that it's poorly written or lacks sophistication, but I think because the core pattern has such a soft sound, which makes it sound more bland and metronome-ish than intended. The bells at 3:53 are piercing, though so are the stuttering leads to a lesser extent. The subtractive finish wasn't awful, but by 4:28 the final notes felt like a popcorn fart, just nothing to the resolution; probably could have let the last few notes trail off more.

Especially in text form where the emotions don't show, Ross, it comes off like I really disliked the track because I've been underwhelmed by the production when in reality, the arrangement's super, super promising and there's a lot of room for growth. Interpretation-wise, this is on very solid ground, it just sounds lossier than it should and the way the beats are produced doesn't carry their end of things.

Beyond just taking this to the Workshop forums and #workshop Discord channel, it sounds like you need a producer friend with a good ear who can coach you up on how to polish your sound. I definitely hope you stick around this time, because your writing and instrumentation choices are so creative and strong. See what more you can do with this one, and don't be discouraged if you can't get this one posted; whatever more you learn from continuing your music journey will be put to good use. Really great to see you back!

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