As promised, article number 2 of the projected 26 excerpts from “The Cynic’s Dictionary,” (2000 Aubrey Dillion - Malone - Contemporary Books), follows with selective added words of wisdom:

1. Bachelor: A man who never gets over the idea that he’s a thing of beauty and a boy forever. Helen Rowland (Governor of the Golden State or some higher up elected official)

2. Bank: A place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it. Bob Hope (From 3 to 30 percent interest, compliments of the Bank of Dandridge boys). (Jake & C.H.)

3. Barrister: A word in the dictionary that comes between bankrupt and bastard. Stephen Phillips (The 1500 who aren’t the Biggest or Best of the Best)

4. Beauty: What a woman has when she looks the same after washing her face. Hal Roach (It really is only skin deep, what is inside really counts)

5. Best-Seller: A book which somehow sells well because it is selling well. Daniel Boorstin (What John Grisham and John Meachan have that others don’t)

6. Biblethumper: Someone who’s all preaches and screams. Louis Safian (What students at Tennessee Temple University were called while practicing preaching at the corner of 7^th and Market Streets, Choo Choo city)

7. Bigamy: One way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and expense of alimony. Oliver Herford (H.L. may need help to pay off the last 6.7 M allegedly owed to his ex-spouse)

8. Bisexuality: What doubles your chance of a date on Saturday night. Woody Allen (A’int getting in this WNBA controversy)

9.Bolshevism: Czarism in overalls. George Jean Nathan (How to win a election in Michigan, New York City, etc?)

10. Books: Things printed by people who don’t understand them, sold by people who don’t understand them, read and reviewed by people who don’t understand them, and even written by people who don’t understand them. G.C. Lichtenburg (But not by the two in #5, Lewis Grizzaed or Rick Bragg)

11.Broker: A man who takes your fortune and turns it into a shoestring. Alexander Woollcott (Bernie M., or ? in booming economy)

12.Budget: A mathematical confirmation of your worst suspicions. A.A. Latimer (Thank goodness for the Chickamauga Dam Lock and Tivoli Theatre being renovated under budget)

13. Bravery: Being the only one who knows you’re afraid. Franklin P. Jones (If you watch the Public Broadcasting System (P.B.S.) documentary, “Red Tails,” on the Tuskegee Airmen of World War II fame, you will understand)

Only 48 articles to go!

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