Dear Pastor,

I am a 65-year-old man, and for years I have been reading the letters you publish in THE STAR.

I have a matter that I would like to put before you. I am divorced and living with my daughter. There is a woman who is interested in me. She was living in England, but she returned to Jamaica. She has built a lovely house and is living there alone. This woman is in good health and we attend the same church. She was always inviting me to her house. But I was always reluctant to go. One Saturday we met at the market and she again invited me to her house for dinner. She told me that she does not have horns, so I don’t need to be afraid of her. At her age, she has a lovely shape. She is 70 years old.

My daughter warns me about this woman. My daughter said that the woman is looking for a man because she might be lonely living in her big house. Anyhow, I went to have dinner at her house and the place is well kept. I had more than enough to eat. She said that I could not take home anything, I should eat up everything. I found out that she has three children who are all living in England. They do not intend to live in Jamaica.

She questioned me about my former wife and why we got a divorce. Then the woman scared me by telling me that she would love to get married again because she too is divorced. I told her that I was not interested in getting married again. She said that from the time she saw me at church, she fell in love with me. I was at her house until about 9 p.m. and my daughter called and told me that I should come home because she would not go to bed unless I am in. This woman told me that my daughter is treating me like a child, but it is not true. My daughter does not want me to stay out late anymore.

Pastor, I am a retired man. I don’t need this woman’s money. I like her but she is too pushy. She is a good cook. But I don’t believe that I would be happy living at her house. I want you to advise me on what to do.

C.

Dear C.,

If you are not interested in this woman, you should tell her so.

Tell her that both of you could be good friends, but you do not intend to get married again. She has made it clear to you that she would like to remarry, so you can see that your daughter was right when she told you that this woman is seeking a man. Every intelligent woman knows the way to get a man is to give him good food. That is why mothers warn their sons all the time, don’t go to a woman’s house and eat stew peas. They say women do all sorts of bad things with stew peas. I have got letters from women who have mentioned what they have put in stew peas to ‘catch’ men. Some of the things that women say that they are engaged in can be described as nastiness.

Mark you, I am not saying that this woman would go so low; I am just saying that men love food and women would put out their best to cook the most delicious meals for them. I am saying to you, don’t eat the woman’s food if you know you are not interested in having an intimate relationship with her which would lead to marriage.

Pastor