Brigitte Pellerin: I'm a veteran of these registration Hunger Games. But did the mayor have to wait until a month before the election to say something?

The other day, out of the blue, Mark Sutcliffe unveiled a new plank of his re-election platform. He promises “to increase access to swimming lessons, expand opportunities for children and make registration easier for families.” And I thought, why just swimming? Why now?

I have three children who are now almost 20, 18 and 16. When they were little, approximately three centuries ago, I had them enrolled in City of Ottawa recreational programs. Or I tried to. As a veteran of these registration Hunger Games, with recurring nightmares in which I am caught in an endless “Page Refresh” loop that gets stuck on that dastardly internet spinning wheel for several minutes, I know the pain of looking at a sweet innocent five-year-old who doesn’t understand why she didn’t get that oh-so coveted spot in the only gymnastics class in the whole entire universe she wanted.

I realize we don’t have endless reserves of money and need to make difficult choices. But that’s not an excuse for the incredibly frustrating online registration tool that turns otherwise pleasant people into rabid monsters ready to crush their fellows for the right class at the right pool. Registration that opens at 9:00 p.m and is already crashing by 9:01 p.m., as happened regularly back in my day, was extraordinarily frustrating. I hear the system crashes less often now, which is welcome news.

Still, the problem I have with Sutcliffe’s promise to “review the entire swimming lesson registration process, including practices used by other municipalities, to identify ways to improve the experience for families” is, what took you so long? Did you really have to wait until a month before the election to say something? This reeks of opportunism and of taking people for, in the colloquial language of my youth, des codindes.

I’m no online registration systems expert, but a simple online search suggests many ways to allow people to register that are used elsewhere and are way better than what we have. Tools that include a lottery for the most popular programs, awarded randomly to people who submitted a request during the prescribed window. It’s fair for everyone and doesn’t punish people who don’t have high-speed internet or a work schedule that allows them to sit for half an hour at the keyboard to ensure they click at precisely the time registration opens.

Another solid method is to stagger registration by categories (swimming on Monday, dance on Tuesday, etc.) to avoid server crashes that make the whole thing feel like a giant exercise in frustrating futility. Ottawa separates swimming from the rest, opening it one day before. Maybe other programs could be staggered, too?

We do reserve spots for in-person registration, which is good and equitable for the less techy. But we could allow families to register multiple children simultaneously for different activities. This would help parents avoid losing a spot for one kid by registering for the other, a well-known cause of unnecessary sibling rivalry.

The second big problem I have with Sutcliffe’s plan is the part where he promises to keep non-residents away from the registration system for the first 48 hours. I wanted to scream when I read that. Whaddayamean, non-residents who don’t pay taxes here are allowed to compete with taxpaying residents? And we’re just now thinking of keeping them out? This would not have been complicated to enforce, and somehow nobody thought of doing that until right before the election?

I’m all for making recreational activities more available for Ottawa children. I shouldn’t have to wait until a sitting mayor gets to dangle it in front of my eyes like a candy I could get if only I voted for his reelection.

Brigitte Pellerin (they/them) is an Ottawa writer.

Take control of your search results. Make the Ottawa Citizen a preferred source on Google and see verified local reporting first.