Hotel receptionists are well within their rights at check-in to request the likes of passports, credit cards and lists of allergies.

But asking you to sign a disclaimer that your children won’t be disruptive at mealtimes? That was a new one.

Warily, I scrawled my name in a jet-lagged haze. It was a gamble. Meal times with my then two-year-old were tricky.

Negotiating with a toddler who has just learnt the words to Wheels On The Bus, who has fine-tuned the shrillness of his voice and who has perfected his overhead throw presented its challenges.

Anyway, we – hotel guests and parents – got by relatively unscathed in that short stay at Kamala in Thailand.

The same, however, could not be said of a recent trip to Rhodes. 

There were two principal sets of people to avoid. The first, child-free couples of a certain age.

Even worse though, were older couples, sans kids, who had, for some reason known only to themselves, booked into a family-friendly hotel.

Why not a more peaceful adults-only hotel? These, according to the latest figures, now account for about a fifth of all new hotel openings. The answer remains a mystery to me.

I felt the first eyes boring into me on the beach when my toddler started happily building a sandcastle.

I had already chosen the worst positioned loungers – far away from reading couples, right by the loos – but there’s only so much you can do to mitigate your children’s existence.

I’m a considerate traveller, apart – it seems – from the fact that I’ve decided to procreate. A child laughing on a beach is simply no reason to cast dirty looks.

Meal times were worst. We selected the buffet over the a la carte option to keep things simple (and quicker).

Our youngest, then aged six months, was in the early stages of weaning. The result was a great deal of food on the floor. 

I was endlessly scooping up squashed bananas and crackers from the tiles to a soundtrack of his pained crying (he also suffered severe reflux).

I get it – this is not what you want on holiday. It’s not what I want on my holiday either.

But Greece is a country with dozens of adults-only hotels. Why then, if noisy children upset you, are you not in one of those?

Our week went by in a sleep- deprived haze. We began to get rather used to the ‘reprimands’. One sixtysomething couple seemed to target us with eyerolls and tutting at any given opportunity. 

By our final day, I was on the cusp of confrontation, but the language barrier – and my husband – held me back.

Yet one lovely lady would wave and play peekaboo with our baby from a nearby table. On one occasion, she came over and said: ‘You’re doing a great job!’ It was incredibly kind amid so much negativity. 

All of this has got me thinking. It’s about time hotels decided either to be family-friendly or adults-only, rather than straddle both (requiring disclaimers).

Regarding fellow guests, instead of exhibiting displeasure, how about saying something nice for a change?

And if you can’t muster up the faux enthusiasm, can I suggest that you stop ruining my holiday and go somewhere else. 

How about an adults-only hotel? That’s where I’d be in your shoes.