For over fifteen years, I’ve shared my thoughts and insights about what it’s like for Kelly and me to be gay dads. What I haven’t covered is what it has been like for our sons, two young men who, like most of us, had no choice in deciding who their parents were going to be. And in their case, it just happened to be two dads.

Now that they’re adult men, I’ve asked if they’d be willing to answer some questions about what it was like being raised by a couple of gay men. First up is our oldest, Gus. His answers have only been edited for clarity. The context and meaning of his responses have not been altered.

Growing up, what was the most common question you heard from your schoolmates and friends about having two dads?

Probably asking if I missed not having a mom. I’d say I really didn’t know because I didn’t have anything to compare it to.

What was it like not having a mom?

Like I said, I would reply I don’t know because I never had one. I started getting that question when I would have been around 12 years old, so I don’t think kids really understood that not all families have a dad and mom. 

What about now? What do people say when they hear there is no mom and never was one?

Nowadays, they usually just say, “Oh, that’s pretty cool.” Then they usually ask if it was any different growing up.

Do you volunteer that you have two dads, for example, “Oh, what do your mom and dad do?” or do you just let it be?

Yes, I do volunteer that I have two dads, but there are some rare occasions where I let it slide because it might just be some small talk with some random person that I don’t care to explain it to.

What kind of discussions did you have with your girlfriends?  

Never really had conversations about it. Like it was never a sit-down conversation, it would just be that the topic got brought up and that was that. No one ever thought twice about it.

There was one kid who couldn’t come to your birthday party because of his parents’ “deeply held religious beliefs.” Were there other kids that didn’t want to hang out with you because of your dads?

Yes, there were a couple more kids who didn’t want anything to do with me because of it.

You’re quite the jock. We were in the stands almost all the time. Did you ever get grief from fellow players?

Only one other player. But even then, it was more that his mom said, “don’t talk to him because he has two dads,” but the kid talked to me anyways.

Do you think you missed out on not having a mom?

No, not at all to be honest. I don’t think I would be who I am today if I did have one.  

What was the worst part — be honest — about having two dads?  

Honestly, I can’t think of any worst part.

What was the best part?

Probably all the support you guys give me, no matter my decisions. 

What do you think we did especially well as parents?

Teaching me how to go after what I want and that it takes patience and consistency to get it. 

Anything we were crap at?

Just letting Niko do what he wants, but not me!

[AUTHOR’S NOTE: That is not true!] 

Anything you’d like to add?

Just thankful that you guys are my parents!

Dear reader, I think I’ve got something in my eye.