Malcom Offord is doing it all wrong. He’s using First Minister’s Questions to ask questions of the First Minister.

Unseemly questions. About asylum policy and the impact on the housing stock. About mass immigration and the safety of women and girls.

The audacity of the man. FMQs is supposed to be about the issues that matter to ordinary Scots: Israeli war strategy, transgender bathroom access and Elon Musk’s spicy tweets.

Asking about asylum and immigration sends the Scottish political establishment all queasy as it intimates the existence of problems other than Westminster, the ‘super rich’, and Donald Trump.

Thus, when Offord pointed out that 64 per cent of people in receipt of temporary housing in Scotland were asylum seekers, Swinney reprimanded him for using ‘language which spreads division in our society’.

The problem is never the problem, the problem is always noticing the problem.

In the cartoonish moral imagination of the Holyrood politician, either all refugees are welcome or you’re literally Hitler.

For a mob that go on so much about the dangers of the Far Right, they sure like letting the Far Right monopolise vast swathes of public debate. It marked the second week in a row in which the Reform Scotland leader has used his time slot to talk about migration.

When he did so last week, parliament shrieked like an enclosure of howler monkeys at feeding time, even though his queries were reasonably-worded and not obviously provocative.

As I wrote in the following day’s Holyrood Sketch, in reacting so viscerally and intemperately all MSPs did was make themselves look extreme and allow Offord to emerge as level-headed and serious.

The monkeys seem to have realised this because they were much better behaved this week. Next Offord turned his attention to a 12-year-old Dundonian girl arrested last August.

She was accused of brandishing weapons at a migrant couple, with Police Scotland at the time denouncing ‘misinformation being shared on social media in relation to an incident where a Bulgarian couple were approached by youths’.

Offord noted that, following a trial at Dundee Sheriff Court, we now knew that it was the adult Bulgarian male who approached the girl, assaulted her and made sexual remarks towards her.

It was, Offord further reminded the chamber, the First Minister and his former colleague Humza Yousaf who jumped the gun on social media and took the Bulgarian’s side over that of the Scottish girl.

To his partial credit, Swinney admitted to Offord that he’d got it wrong, and offered an apology to the girl and her family, though he somehow still managed to blame ‘malevolent right-wing actors’ for ‘sowing division’. I’ve heard Yousaf called many things but that’s a new one.

The Reform leader saw it as another example of white working class girls not being believed.

On which note, he added, when would the long-awaited grooming gangs inquiry get under way? Work was still ongoing to establish terms of reference, Swinney told him. Sounds like a top priority. While Offord is making a solid start, Conservative chief Russell Findlay’s wit and devilry still enjoys the edge.

He ventured a query on North Sea energy that was a glorified party election broadcast with a question mark hung on the end, all done with a cheeky smile and a twinkle in his eye, mind.

He hailed ‘my colleague Douglas Lumsden’ as ‘Aberdeen’s oil and gas champion’ — and wouldn’t you know, Lumsden just so happens to be the Tory candidate in the Aberdeen South by-election. Findlay branded the SNP ‘sleekit’ while Swinney called the Conservatives ‘a bunch of skivers’.

The Tory benches were looking a little sparse. It’s hard to tell whether that was because some were up in the Granite City for some last-minute campaigning or because there aren’t as many Tories in Holyrood these days.

Still, the blue team and the yellow team had a grand old time digging each other up. Just like the old days.